As mothers, we experience an ever-changing myriad of emotions daily. I would say minute by minute if you are a mom of littles such as myself! We can go from warm, glowing feelings of adoration towards our children to feeling like momzilla when our child makes yet another mess! The reality is that our circumstances are not always going to produce joy, so how do we find joy in the seemingly endless hard moments of parenting?
1. Our children cannot be our source of joy.
This may sound a little strange, I know. My children have absolutely been a part of some of my most favorite memories and joy-filled moments. Likewise, they have also been a part of some of my hardest, not-so-pretty moments. While our love for our children remains constant, our feelings can rapidly change. One minute, our hearts are bursting as our baby coos at us, and the next minute, our feelings have erupted into utter chaos as our other children have decided to flood the bathroom (true story!). You get the drift—our feelings are prone to change and to sin. Our children are also prone to sin. They will provide many opportunities for joy to be diminished in our hearts. To have them as our source for joy is essentially saying that they are the direct determinate of our state of happiness and joy. This is a dangerous message to send to our children because we want to shepherd our children to choose to do right because it is what God has called us to do, not because it makes mommy happy. Simply put, while children are an absolute blessing and bring much joy into our lives, we must find joy in an anchor that is steadfast, unchanging, and perfect. both for ourselves and for our children!
2. Perfectionism will steal our joy.
As mothers, we often place upon ourselves a standard of perfection that is unattainable. When we fail to reach that standard, we get discouraged, angry, and frustrated with ourselves. I dare say most of us have had the thought, "I must be a terrible mother because my child does _____." The reality is that we are imperfect people with imperfect responses and impulses. Our children don’t need a perfect mother; they need a mother who will point them to the gospel both in words and in how they live their lives. They need a mother who understands that she is not perfect but clings to the one who is. That is what is going to have an eternal impact on them. It is not our perfection or lack of perfection that will lead our children’s hearts to God. Only God can do that. We must use every occasion to point them to the cross! This is not an excuse to be satisfied with our own sinful tendencies and responses in parenting. Rather, it's a reminder that our relationship with Christ is vital to our ability to parent well. The single most important thing that we can do as mothers is to desire to grow in Christ. Remember that our identity and worth are not found in how well we "mother," but in Christ. When your heart and mind are discouraged by motherhood, cling to these three truths:
1. You are forgiven in Christ. (1 John 1:9)
2. You are righteous in Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:21)
3. You are loved by God. (1 John 3:1)
3. Joy is found in an unshakeable anchor
How can we have consistent joy in motherhood? It seems that when joy is mentioned in the Bible, it is often surrounded by words like rejoice, praise, worship, and sing. I believe a heart that is worshipping God cannot help but feel joy in what He has done and has promised to do through the work of the gospel. It brings to mind all of the ways that he has sustained and strengthened us in the past and has promised to continue to do so in the future. There will be moments where we have to grasp and believe this with everything in us. We will be tempted to give in and give up. In those moments, remember and rejoice. How does this impact joy in motherhood when the circumstances aren’t very joyful? We can find joy in the fact that our efforts as mothers are not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58). All of those hard moments are working in us to become more like Christ and, in turn, better mothers. It doesn’t mean that the hard moments are suddenly going to disappear or become easier, but it does mean that we can know God will be with us in them. Faithfully stewarding our children with intentionality and joy towards Christ will have an eternal impact. Count your blessings daily and remember that God is using motherhood to sanctify you.
As beautiful and wonderful as being a mother is, the reality is that there will be hard moments mixed in with the good. It will test us, stretch us and change us. Remember and rejoice in God's faithfulness to you. Know that your labor is not in vain if it is focused on God. Allow him to use motherhood to shape you into the image of Christ. There is much joy to be found in having Christ as our anchor. Keep up the good work, mama!
Scripture on Joy
Nehemiah 8:10
Psalm 4:7
Psalm 16:11
Psalm 28:7
Psalm 92:1-4
Hebrews 3:17-19
John 15:11
Romans 15:13
James 1:2
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
❤️